Why Trauma Could Be Behind Your Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD (And How EMDR Helps)

You've tried everything.

Therapy for months. Medications that half-work. Self-help books you've read twice over. Breathing exercises on YouTube. Apps that send you affirmations at 6 AM.

And yet—the anxiety is still there. The sadness still creeps in. The overwhelm at work. The constant restlessness. The feeling that something is fundamentally wrong with you.

Here's what nobody told you: your anxiety, depression, or ADHD might not be the actual problem.

It might be the symptom.

Across India—in Goa, Mumbai, Bangalore, Hyderabad—I see this pattern every week. Smart, capable people in their 20s, 30s, 40s who've been to multiple therapists, tried every medication, and still feel stuck. They understand why they're anxious. They can trace it back. They've done the work.

But the anxiety doesn't budge.

That's when we start looking deeper. And almost always, we find the same thing: unprocessed trauma.

Not the kind you see in movies. Not necessarily dramatic or obvious. But real trauma—stuck in your nervous system—still telling your body that you're unsafe.

This guide explains why. And more importantly, it shows you how EMDR therapy (a treatment I specialize in) can actually change this.

The Real Issue—Why Your Anxiety, Depression, or ADHD Might Actually Be Trauma

Let me start with something that might feel uncomfortable.

When you think "trauma," you probably picture something big. A car accident. Abuse. Loss.

But that's only part of the story.

Trauma is anything your nervous system couldn't process at the time it happened. It doesn't care if it "seems small" to other people. It doesn't matter if other people went through the same thing and "turned out fine."

What matters is: what did your nervous system learn?

Here's an example. A child gets criticized harshly by a parent for making a mistake. The parent wasn't abusive—just strict. Just "trying to teach a lesson." But the child's brain learned: mistakes equal danger. I need to be perfect or I'll be hurt.

That nervous system learning doesn't disappear when the child becomes an adult.

Twenty years later, that adult gets feedback from their boss. A simple comment about a project. Neutral, constructive feedback.

But their body reacts like a threat alarm just went off.

Heart races. Thoughts spiral. Shame floods in. They can't sleep that night. The anxiety lasts for days.

And they don't understand why.

Because their nervous system is still running a program from childhood. A program that says: criticism = danger.

This is what I mean by trauma.

Not just big events. But any experience that taught your nervous system: the world is unsafe. People can't be trusted. I'm not good enough. Mistakes are catastrophic.

And here's the kicker: these lessons often come from places we don't even recognize as "traumatic."

Common Sources of "Hidden" Trauma

The "strict but fair" parent who never hit you but criticized constantly → teaches you that love is conditional.

The bullying you experienced in school that everyone told you to "just get over" → teaches you that you're different, wrong, not fit to belong.

The accident you survived that nobody really talked about → teaches you the world is unpredictable and dangerous.

The parent who was emotionally unavailable because they were working hard or struggling themselves → teaches you that your feelings don't matter, that you need to manage other people's emotions.

The period of chaos or uncertainty in your family → teaches your nervous system to stay hypervigilant, always scanning for the next problem.

And the nervous system doesn't forget.

It keeps running these programs. And they show up as:

Anxiety. Constant worry. Panic attacks. Checking and rechecking. Needing reassurance. Fear of abandonment. Performance anxiety that makes you freeze when it matters.

Depression. Hopelessness that no accomplishment can shake. Isolation. Feeling numb or disconnected. Low energy even when you're sleeping enough. The sense that something is fundamentally wrong with you.

ADHD-like symptoms. Difficulty focusing. Racing thoughts. Restlessness. Impulsivity. (Note: This isn't diagnosable ADHD, but hypervigilance and a dysregulated nervous system look like ADHD.)

Relationship patterns. Attracting the wrong people. People-pleasing to the point of burning out. Difficulty trusting. Sabotaging good relationships because you don't believe you deserve them.

Physical symptoms. Chronic tension. Digestive issues. Migraines. Autoimmune flare-ups. Your body keeping score.

Across India, I work with professionals—engineers, doctors, business owners from Goa to Bangalore, Mumbai to Hyderabad—who came to therapy for "anxiety" or "depression." After a few sessions, we discovered it was all rooted in childhood patterns they didn't even recognize as traumatic.

One client, a successful marketing manager, couldn't understand why she spiraled into shame for days after any minor criticism at work. She thought she was "broken" or "too sensitive."

The real issue? Her father had been distant and dismissive. Love meant achievement. Mistakes meant disappointment.

That nervous system learned a pattern 25 years ago. And it was still running.

For a deeper dive into how childhood experiences affect adult anxiety, check out our complete guide to childhood trauma and its long-term effects.

Six Signs Your Anxiety, Depression, or ADHD Might Be Rooted in Childhood Trauma

If you're wondering whether your struggles might be trauma-based, here are six patterns I see regularly across India.

Sign 1: Your Anxiety or Depression Makes No Logical Sense

You have a good job. Supportive friends. You're objectively doing well. But the anxiety is still there. Or the depression. You can't explain it away.

That's because anxiety rooted in trauma isn't about your current circumstances. It's about what your nervous system learned in the past.

A client told me: "I know logically that my boss likes my work. But I still panic every time she asks to talk to me."

That's not logical anxiety. That's a nervous system that learned: authority figures = danger.

Sign 2: You're a People-Pleaser Who Struggles to Say No

You say yes to things you don't want to do. You apologize for things that aren't your fault. You prioritize other people's feelings over your own. You feel guilty for having boundaries.

This typically comes from a childhood where your job was to manage other people's emotions. To be "good." To not cause problems. To know what people needed before they asked.

Your nervous system learned: my safety depends on keeping others happy.

Even now, as an adult, you can't shake that pattern.

Sign 3: You Experience Intense Shame for Small Things

Someone mishears something you said. A text takes hours to reply. You make a minor mistake at work.

And suddenly, you're spiraling. Shame floods in. You replay it obsessively. You convince yourself people think you're incompetent or weird.

This is often rooted in childhood experiences where you learned that mistakes = you're broken. Or where you were shamed regularly and internalized it.

Sign 4: Certain Situations Trigger Disproportionate Reactions

Criticism. Conflict. Rejection. Being ignored. Someone raising their voice.

Your reaction seems way bigger than the situation warrants. You can't quite control it. And afterward, you feel embarrassed about overreacting.

That's your nervous system triggered. It's responding to something from the past, not just the present moment.

Sign 5: You Have Physical Symptoms That Doctors Can't Explain

Chronic tension. Migraines. Digestive issues. Autoimmune flare-ups. Heart palpitations.

You've been to doctors. Tests come back normal. But the symptoms persist.

This is your body keeping score. Your nervous system storing unprocessed trauma as physical tension or dysregulation.

Sign 6: You Understand Why You Feel This Way, But It Doesn't Change Anything

You've done the therapy. You know your patterns. You can trace everything back to childhood.

But understanding hasn't healed it.

That's because understanding happens in the thinking part of your brain. But trauma is stored in the feeling and sensing parts. Understanding alone can't rewire it.

If you recognize yourself in even a few of these signs, it's worth exploring whether trauma is at the root.

And if it is, there's good news: your nervous system can learn new patterns. It's not broken. It just needs the right approach.

Understanding vs. Healing—Why Talking About Your Problem Isn't Enough

Here's something important that most therapy doesn't address: understanding your problem is not the same as healing it.

I know this sounds counterintuitive. We're taught that insight is everything. That if you understand why you're anxious, you can change it.

But that's not how the nervous system works.

Let me explain.

When trauma happens, especially in childhood, your brain can't process it properly. The memory gets "stuck." It's stored with all the emotions, body sensations, and beliefs from the original experience.

Your thinking brain (the part that understands and analyzes) can't access that stored trauma. So no amount of talking about it will fully process it.

That's why you can spend months in therapy, understand everything, trace it all back—and still feel the same way.

A client told me: "I've spent two years understanding my anxiety. I know exactly where it comes from. But I still panic when my boss asks to see me."

Understanding the source didn't change the nervous system response.

Here's the difference:

Understanding says: "I know my father was critical, and that's why I'm anxious now."

Healing says: "My nervous system no longer responds as if my father's criticism is happening right now. I can hear feedback without my body going into alarm mode."

Those are completely different things.

Understanding lives in your head. Healing lives in your nervous system.

Why Talk Therapy Alone Often Isn't Enough

Talk therapy is excellent for:

• Building insight
• Learning coping skills
• Understanding patterns
• Feeling heard and validated

But it's limited for:

• Rewiring deep nervous system patterns
• Processing stuck trauma
• Changing automatic emotional reactions
• Healing things that happened before you had language for them

That's where EMDR comes in.

EMDR doesn't just talk about the trauma. It actively helps your brain reprocess it. It unlocks the stuck memory. It lets your brain integrate it naturally.

So the memory stays, but the emotional charge goes away. The nervous system learns: that was then. This is now. I'm safe.

What Is EMDR Therapy? (And Why It Actually Works)

EMDR stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.

I know. The name is a mouthful. But here's what it actually is:

A therapy that helps your brain process trauma by using bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements) while you briefly focus on a traumatic memory.

That's it.

It sounds simple. But the research behind it is solid.

How EMDR Works (The Simple Version)

When you're traumatized, one side of your brain (usually the right side, which processes emotions) gets overloaded. The left side (which processes logic and language) can't catch up.

So the memory stays frozen. Stuck. Still triggering you years later.

EMDR activates both sides of your brain simultaneously. It's like turning on both the emotional and logical parts at the same time.

With both sides engaged, your brain can finally process the memory. It can integrate it. It can file it away as "something that happened" instead of "something that's happening right now."

How EMDR Is Different From Talk Therapy

In talk therapy, you tell the story of what happened. You analyze it. You gain insight.

In EMDR, you don't have to talk about it in detail. You just identify the memory and notice what comes up.

Your therapist guides you through eye movements or other bilateral stimulation while you hold the memory lightly in mind.

Your brain does the work. Not through talking. Through processing.

Why It Works for Anxiety, Depression, and ADHD-Like Symptoms

Because these symptoms are often the surface-level manifestation of an unprocessed nervous system response.

When you process the root trauma with EMDR, the symptoms naturally decrease.

A client who had panic attacks every time her boss gave feedback? After EMDR processing of childhood criticism trauma, she still remembers her father's criticism—but it no longer triggers panic.

A client with depression and hopelessness rooted in childhood neglect? After processing, the depression lifts. Not because her circumstances changed, but because her nervous system learned she's safe and worthy.

A client who looked ADHD because they were hypervigilant and couldn't focus? After processing the trauma causing hypervigilance, focus naturally returned.

Research Backing

EMDR is recognized by:

• The World Health Organization (WHO)
• The American Psychological Association (APA)
• The National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE)
• The Indian Psychiatric Society

Studies show 80-90% of people with single-trauma PTSD no longer meet diagnostic criteria after 5-12 EMDR sessions.

For complex trauma, it typically takes longer. But the results are consistent.

Want to know more about EMDR's effectiveness compared to other therapies? Read our research-backed overview.

Who Can Benefit from EMDR Therapy?

EMDR was originally developed for PTSD. But research has expanded its use significantly.

EMDR Can Help With

Anxiety disorders. Generalized anxiety, panic disorder, social anxiety, performance anxiety. If your anxiety is rooted in past experiences, EMDR can help your nervous system learn new responses.

Depression. Especially depression with a trauma root. If your depression stems from childhood experiences (loss, neglect, abuse), EMDR can process those roots.

ADHD-like symptoms. If what looks like ADHD is actually hypervigilance or a dysregulated nervous system from trauma, EMDR helps regulate it.

Relationship patterns. Difficulty trusting, people-pleasing, attracting the wrong partners, sabotaging relationships—these often have trauma roots. EMDR helps rewire them.

Phobias. Specific fears rooted in past experiences.

Performance anxiety. Musicians, athletes, public speakers, students who freeze when it matters—often rooted in past shame or criticism.

Grief and loss. Unprocessed grief can get stuck. EMDR helps move through it.

Bullying and rejection. Survivors of bullying often carry deep beliefs about not belonging. EMDR helps reprocess these experiences.

Who EMDR Might Not Be Right For (And Why)

• Active crisis or acute mental illness. Stabilization comes first.
• Active substance dependence. Detox and stabilization needed before trauma processing.
• Uncontrolled dissociative symptoms. Requires specialized preparation.

If any of these apply, it doesn't mean EMDR can never be used. It means preparation or other support might be needed first.

Taking Your First Step—What to Expect in Your First EMDR Session

If you're thinking about trying EMDR, here's what actually happens. No mystery. No surprises.

Session 1: History and Preparation (60 minutes)

This isn't processing yet. It's foundation-building.

We talk about:

• What brought you to therapy
• Your history (not all the gory details, just overview)
• Current symptoms and how they affect your life
• Any past therapy or medication
• Your goals

Then I teach you grounding techniques. Simple things like:

• A breathing exercise you can use anytime you feel overwhelmed
• A "safe place" visualization
• Grounding through your five senses

These aren't about "positive thinking." They're about helping your nervous system know it can return to calm if things get intense.

Sessions 2+: EMDR Processing (60 minutes each)

We identify a specific memory or issue to work with. Usually we start with something moderate, not the worst trauma.

Think of it like swimming lessons. You don't start in the deep end.

You identify:

• The key image or moment
• What negative belief comes up ("I'm powerless," "I'm not good enough," "I'm in danger")
• Where you feel it in your body
• How distressing it feels (on a scale of 0-10)

Then we do bilateral stimulation (usually eye movements, sometimes tapping or sounds) while you hold the memory lightly.

Your job is simple: just notice what comes up. Thoughts, emotions, body sensations, new memories.

You don't have to do anything. You don't have to make sense of it. You just notice.

After several sets of eye movements, we pause. I ask what you noticed. Then we do more sets.

This continues until the distress level drops significantly.

Then we "install" a positive belief related to the memory.

Between Sessions

Your brain continues processing. You might have vivid dreams. You might notice shifts in how you react to things. You might remember related memories.

This is all normal and actually a sign it's working.

The Experience Varies

Some people feel intense emotions come up. Some feel nothing obvious but notice shifts afterward. Some have surprising memories surface.

There's no "right way" to experience EMDR. Your brain knows how to do this. You just need the right conditions.

How Many Sessions

• Single-incident trauma: 3-6 sessions
• Moderate trauma or multiple issues: 6-12 sessions
• Complex childhood trauma: 12-20+ sessions

But it varies. We reassess regularly and adjust.

Safety and Comfort

You're completely in control. You can pause anytime. You can tell me to go slower or faster.

I'm not here to judge or pathologize. I'm here to help your nervous system process what it couldn't before.

FAQ—Questions About EMDR Therapy

Why Choosing the Right Therapist Matters

Not all therapists offer EMDR. And not all EMDR therapists are right for everyone.

What matters:

• Training. Make sure they're EMDRIA-trained or equivalent.
• Experience. Someone who's been doing this for years, not months.
• Approach. Do they feel compassionate and non-judgmental?
• Match. Do you feel safe with them?

Finding a skilled EMDR therapist in India—whether in Goa, Mumbai, Bangalore, or Hyderabad—can be challenging. There are very few. Which is why I built my practice focusing specifically on EMDR and trauma-informed care.

My background as an MD Pediatrician means I understand child development and how early experiences shape the adult nervous system. I combine that with specialized EMDR training.

I work online, so you don't need to be in any particular city. But if you are in Goa or nearby, local availability is a bonus.

If you're in Goa and want a complete guide to EMDR therapy options, services, and costs, read our full Goa EMDR therapy guide.

Making the Decision—Is EMDR Right for You?

Here's my honest take:

If you've been struggling with anxiety, depression, ADHD-like symptoms, or relationship patterns for a while—and especially if they're rooted in past experiences—EMDR is worth exploring.

It's not a magic cure. But it's one of the most evidence-backed approaches for processing trauma and rewiring nervous system responses.

Trying it doesn't commit you to anything. A ₹400 screening call is just a conversation.

We talk about what you're struggling with, whether EMDR makes sense, what to expect, and if we're a good fit.

No pressure. No judgment.

You deserve to feel safe in your own nervous system. You deserve to experience life without constant anxiety or depression pulling you down.

That's possible. EMDR can help.

Conclusion

Your anxiety, depression, or ADHD isn't weakness. It's not something you need to just "get over."

It's often your nervous system doing exactly what it learned to do to protect you.

And that's actually good news.

Because if your nervous system learned these patterns, it can learn new ones.

EMDR is one of the most effective ways to do that.

I'm based in Goa but serve clients across India—Mumbai, Bangalore, Hyderabad, and beyond. Internationally too, via online sessions.

You don't have to keep struggling.

Healing is possible.

Book your ₹400 screening call and let's talk about whether EMDR can help you.