Emotions
Feelings Wheel
Somatic & Sensory
Negative Cognitions
Positive Cognitions
Dr. Antonio D'Costa EMDR Therapy
MBBS, MD (Pediatrics) | EMDR Consultant
EMDRIA-Approved Training (USA) | APA Member
Phase 3 Assessment: Emotion Options
Scan the list below. What emotions are you experiencing now as you bring up the incident?
Fear, Anxiety & Panic
Afraid Agitated Alarmed Anxious Apprehensive
Cautious Cowardly Distrusting Dread Edgy
Fearful Frantic Fretful Frightened Hesitant
Horrified Hypervigilant Hysterical Insecure Intimidated
Nervous On edge Overwhelmed Panicked Paranoid
Petrified Restless Scared Shaken Stressed
Suspicious Tense Terrified Threatened Timid
Trapped Uneasy Worried
Anger, Frustration & Disgust
Aggressive Angry Annoyed Appalled Betrayed
Bitter Contempt Defiant Disapproving Disgusted
Disrespectful Enraged Envious Exasperated Frustrated
Furious Hostile Impatient Indignant Irate
Irritated Jealous Livid Mad Ornery
Outraged Pouty Provoked Repulsed Resentful
Revolted Stubborn Upset Vengeful
Sadness, Grief & Despair
Agonized Anguished Bereaved Crushed Defeated
Demoralized Depressed Despair Desperate Devastated
Disappointed Discouraged Dismayed Dreary Empty
Gloomy Grief Heartbroken Heavy Hopeless
Hurt Lethargic Lonely Melancholy Miserable
Mournful Negative Pessimistic Powerless Regretful
Resigned Sorrowful Sorry Tearful Torn
Weepy
Shame, Guilt & Inadequacy
Apologetic Ashamed Bad Blamed Defective
Demeaned Disgraced Disgusting Embarrassed Exposed
Flawed Foolish Guilty Humiliated Inadequate
Ineffective Inferior Mortified Pathetic Perfectionist
Remorseful Shamed Shameful Stupid Tainted
Unworthy Useless Worthless
Victimized, Abandoned & Vulnerable
Abandoned Abused Alienated Attacked Betrayed
Bullied Burdened Cheated Controlled Deceived
Defenseless Disregarded Excluded Exposed Forgotten
Forsaken Helpless Ignored Invisible Isolated
Jinxed Lonely Manipulated Misunderstood Neglected
Overlooked Rejected Shunned Smothered Targeted
Trapped Unaccepted Unappreciated Unloved Unwanted
Used Victimized Vulnerable
Disconnected, Numb & Confused
Ambivalent Apathetic Bewildered Blank Blocked
Blunted Bored Closed Confused Dazed
Depersonalized Derealized Detached Disconnected Disengaged
Disoriented Dissociated Distant Dull Empty
Flat Foggy Frozen In Limbo Indifferent
Lifeless Lost Numb Paralyzed Perplexed
Puzzled Shocked Shut down Spaced out Stuck
Unattached Uncertain Unfocused Uninterested Unmotivated
Unreal Withdrawn
Safe, Grounded & Peaceful (Nervous System Regulation)
Anchored At ease Balanced Calm Centered
Clear-headed Collected Comfortable Content Grounded
Patient Peaceful Present Regulated Relaxed
Relieved Safe Secure Serene Settled
Soothed Stable Steady Tranquil Whole
Empowered, Focused & Capable (Agency & Mastery)
Accomplished Assertive Attentive Authentic Bold
Brave Capable Clear Competent Confident
Courageous Decisive Determined Effective Empowered
Encouraged Fierce Focused Free Independent
Invincible Motivated Powerful Proud Resilient
Resourceful Self-assured Strong Unstoppable Willing
Connected, Loved & Validated (Attachment & Relational)
Accepting Acknowledged Appreciated Belonging Cared for
Cherished Comforted Compassionate Connected Desired
Embraced Empathetic Forgiving Heard Held
Important Included Intimate Loving/Loved Nurtured
Prized Protected Reassured Respected Seen
Supported Sympathetic Treasured Trusting Understood
United Validated Wanted Worthy
Joyful, Energized & Vibrant (Vitality & Playfulness)
Alive Amazed Amused Awake Awestruck
Blissful Buoyant Cheerful Curious Delighted
Dynamic Eager Ecstatic Elated Energized
Engaged Enthusiastic Exhilarated Fascinated Free
Fulfilled Glad Gleeful Grateful Happy
Hopeful Inspired Interested Invigorated Joyous
Jubilant Lively Optimistic Passionate Playful
Radiant Refreshed Renewed Restored Satiated
Satisfied Sparky Spirited Spontaneous Thrilled
Vibrant Victorious
The Interactive Feelings Wheel
Use this visual guide to trace generalized feelings (center) outward to identify specific secondary and tertiary emotional states. Click and drag to rotate the wheel.
Phase 3 Assessment: Negative Cognition (NC) Options
What words go best with that picture that express your negative belief about yourself now?
Responsibility / Defectiveness
I'm not good enough / My best is not good enough
I am a bad person / I am terrible
I am incompetent
I am worthless/inadequate
I am shameful
I am a failure
I deserve only bad things
I am permanently damaged
I am ugly / my body is hateful
I am stupid / not smart enough
I am insignificant/unimportant
I am a disappointment
I deserve to die
I deserve to be miserable
I am different / don't belong
I have to be perfect to be loved
I am not loveable
I don't deserve love
My needs are not important
Other's needs are more important than mine
I only matter when I do things for others
My needs are too much for others
I have to take care of myself because I am unlovable
I will always be alone because I am not capable of love
I will always be a disappointment in love
I am only lovable if someone loves me
I will always be abandoned in love
I have to give up my needs in order to be loved
I must become whoever they need me to be
Safety / Vulnerability
I cannot trust anyone
I cannot protect myself
I am in danger
I am not safe
I am going to die
It's not okay (safe) to feel/show my emotions
I have to submit in order to be safe
It's never safe for me to be in relationships
It's dangerous for me to love & be loved
I do not deserve safety
It's not safe for me to have feelings
People who love me will hurt me
People who love me will leave me
Power / Control / Choices
I am not in control
I am powerless/helpless
I cannot get what I want
I cannot stand up for myself
I am weak
I cannot let it out
I cannot be trusted
I cannot trust myself / my judgment
I cannot succeed
I have to be perfect / please everyone
I can't handle it / stand it
I have to be in control in relationships
I have no control in relationships
I have to always get along with everyone
I can never be in a relationship
I can't trust myself/others in love
My partner is powerless, therefore I must help them
I must avoid relationships in order to maintain control
I am trapped / I have no options
Responsibility - Action Based
I am shameful/stupid/bad
I am inadequate/weak
I must be perfect
I should have done something
I did something wrong
I should have known better
I am to blame
Identity / Race / Culture (Oppressive Cognitions)
I don't belong (because I'm _____)
I am shameful (because I'm _____)
I come from people (derogatory term)
I am not _____ enough (because I'm _____)
I am invisible / useless (because I'm _____)
I have no voice / am helpless (because I'm _____)
I must hide _____ in order to belong/be loved/ be safe
_____ people are dangerous/will hurt me
Neurodivergent (Autism/ADHD) Cognitions
I have to mask all the time
My way of being is wrong
I should be more like other people
No one understands me
I am too much / too different
My needs are too difficult
What I do isn't enough
Phase 5 Installation: Positive Cognition (PC) Options
When you bring up the incident, what would you like to believe about yourself now?
Responsibility / Defectiveness
I am good enough/fine as I am
I am a good/loving person
I am competent / I can succeed
I am worthy/worthwhile
I am honorable
I deserve good things / deserve to live
I am fine/attractive/lovable
I am intelligent/able to learn
I am significant/important
I am okay just the way I am / I am whole
I deserve love
My needs are important and legitimate
I matter regardless of whether I am doing things for others
I am capable of loving and being loved
I am adequate & capable in love
I am loveable even if someone doesn't love me
I can find love in which I won't be abandoned
I am restored / I am sacred
Safety / Vulnerability
I can choose whom to trust
I can learn to protect myself
That danger is over / It's over now
I am safe now
I am alive now / I am resilient
I can safely feel/show my emotions
I can find relationships where it is safe to assert myself
I can find relationships I can trust
It is safe enough to love & be loved
It is safe enough to have feelings
I can handle it if someone hurts/leaves me
I can create my sense of safety
Power / Control / Choices
I am now in control
I now have choices / I have options
I can get what I want
I can make my needs known
I can choose to let it out
I can be trusted / I can trust my judgment
I can succeed
I can be myself / make mistakes
I can handle it
I can share control in relationships
I can handle disapproval / conflict with others
I can trust myself in love
I am powerful
Responsibility - Action Based
I'm fine as I am
I did the best I could with what I had
I learned / can learn from it
I am blameless / I am not at fault
I can forgive myself
Identity / Race / Culture
I can find people who will accept me
I am _____ and that is okay/good
I am good enough / I can accept myself
I deserve honor & respect
My people are strong & resilient
I deserve to be seen and have a voice
I have purpose / am important
I can identify unsafe vs. safe people
Neurodivergent (Autism/ADHD) Cognitions
I can unmask when it's safe
My autistic way of being is valid
I can be autistic and okay
I can find my people
Different doesn't mean wrong
My needs make sense / are valid
I can communicate in ways that work for me
I can take my time
I can do this my way